The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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