I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
