i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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