K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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