drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
