id be glad to
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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