I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
