Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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