I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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