You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
