She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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