What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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