I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
