im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
