i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
