butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
