I'm gonna have a badass scar
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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