dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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