I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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