I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
