Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
