I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
