Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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