she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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