Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
