would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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