Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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