God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
