So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
