She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
