You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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