I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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