fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
be right there i have to get my cape
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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