dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my mouth tastes like poor choices
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
this beer tastes like vomit already
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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