I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
