No, drunk sperm still make babies.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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