everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is Oprah even human
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
