her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Operation Purity has been aborted
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
