There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
