I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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