i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
