Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
