I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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