he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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