I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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