You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
