Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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