I want to stick my p in your. b.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
