did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
