I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
