I smell stomach acid.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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