only if we run a train.
done.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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