We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
