gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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