So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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