and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
