Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
