we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
