Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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