I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
