she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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