I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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