I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
